1. I don't need to hear your entire life story. All I do is transfer your call. Didn't get your paycheck? I'll transfer you to payroll. I don't need to hear that you didn't fax your timesheet in on time and that you really need your paycheck or that you were jipped of eight or nine hours. Oh, your nurse never showed? Let me transfer you to our personnel. I don't care that you have to leave for a doctor's appointment in two hours and that you need to get this blood work done immediately.
2. Please shut up around the front desk. The person on the phone that is telling me their life story doesn't need to hear about the pediatric case.
3. I don't care that you don't like the pens I bought. Too bad. I'm in charge of office supplies.
4. This also means I have control over the coffee supply, bitches.
5. I've seen you four times already. Please stop saying "hi" every time you pass my desk.
6. DON'T MOVE MY PHONE WHILE I'M ON LUNCH!
7. I see you sitting at your desk. Answer this call so they will stop bothering me.
8. Please return the restroom key.
9. Yes. I do need all of these post-it notes.
10. No, I do not care about your cat. Okay, that's a lie. I do.
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